This is Where I Wait
We have an organizational meeting later at three and I'm writing this just to pass the time. I don't want to wait at the venue for two hours, the members might mistake me for being over-zealous, or perhaps over-excited. So I'm just hanging out here in my friend's office. I borrowed the office's spare laptop (with a missing 'L' key... I don't know how or why it got lost), and here I am typing my way to fend off boredom.
Waiting, that serene (and sometimes dreadful) action of anticipation. Even when we're preoccupied with our work there is still the concept of waiting, as we try to anticipate the end result of our effort. At least that's waiting in action. What I do hate is waiting in inaction. I don't like to just sit around and stare at the boring white wall, listening to the ticking of the clock or perhaps the passing rain. I think inactive waiting dulls the senses, though sometimes it's good especially when you want to meditate and stuff.
Waiting, to expect something. Time betrays us in waiting. For every second killed we hardly notice what is before us, approaching. And when it comes would you be happy to welcome it?
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The airconditioner, it lackadaisically hums its sleepy tune, but I cannot close my eyes.
There is a television somewhere in the room and I can hear a dialogue between a man and a woman. I think that's Julia Roberts and Clive Owen talking. Their voices are so distinct, or perhaps the way they talk. Owen has this British accent with a deep tone, while Roberts's voice reeks of confidence and conviction, as if she knows exactly what she's saying, and how she says it.
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It's Saturday, the dullest day of the week next to Tuesday.
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I wait for the right time to talk to you. Though we already have conversed in certain timelines, they were all shallow, forgettable even. I'm not the type of person who has a good relationship with patience. And waiting for the right moment is in fact an act of self-flagellation.
Old 'Skine (Set 5)
Here's another set of old doodles from my first journal. Shoot.
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1. Just another one of those entries on insomnia. Drawn at some coffee shop near our office early in the morning. My hair is now longer than the drawing above by the way.
That Torch-passing Thing
Sidenote 1: I think everyone's watching the Kate/William wedding tonight. In fact my Facebook wall is filled with status updates regarding the grand event. I don't have a Twitter account but I'm sure that there's a major flood of posts about it too. As for me, well, I'm Prince I-don't-give-a-shit. I did however watch Thor just a few hours ago, and I think THAT was something worth wasting your time for (I'm Marvel fanboy, so the statement reeks of bias). At least there's a royal family in it too.
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I sent my endorsement letter to my successor yesterday. As I was writing I couldn't help but remember the good times I had working for the association. I'm sorry for being a little too sentimental, but somehow working for the group helped me build bridges. It connected me to a lot of interesting people from different countries, reaching as far as Rome. Yes, I do get tired sometimes, lazy even, but there are moments when I do get to give my all.
To be honest, I'm not sure if the new guy could handle it. Maybe I'm just (obviously) attached to the job, or maybe I just don't want to see someone destroy what I've worked hard for.
But enough is enough. Time to let go. It's the new guy's game now.
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Sidenote 2: I was trying to interview this restaurant owner a few days ago but she was just too busy (the front desk told me they were undermanned at the moment). I have this top-secret writing project, and it's a part of my life's work. I should've taken the opportunity two years ago when the owner told me that I could interview her immediately, as in on-the-spot. I was just too shy to talk to random people back then (and seriously I didn't even bring a pen and paper with me), now I'm having difficulties in establishing an appointment with her. Frustrations, frustrations.
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I think this year is all about transitions. I do hope we get to recover.
Oh Hello There
What the?! Wow, haven't blogged for a long while. Well, there were some short updates but they were all rants about getting sick and other whiny matters. I don't want this blog of mine to become a ranting post so I decided to delete my previous three updates.
So anyway, I need to apologize for not being able to post these days. It would be unfair to tell you that I've been busy, coz there were moments when there were actually lapses (days when I had nothing much to do) at work. I guess it all boils down to this: I've been lazy, and I know that it's really bad.
So what have I been up to lately? Aside from catching up with my short story (which is now finished actually, just a few tweaks here and there), I've just rebooted my organization in the university. This summer we'll be meeting once a week to discuss future activities of the group. Being a leader of sorts is still intimidating. The fact that I was quite a lame follower back in college doesn't really help. But what astounds me is the dedication coming from the core committee. Yes, they all are greenhorns with almost the same dreams, but somehow, if one looks closely they kinda meld well with each other. Also, this time the components of the organization (from structure to activities) will be formulated by the members, and not by me. In a way the stage has been set for them. I'll always be there 'moderate' things but as much as possible I want them to run the show, because at the end of the day it's all about student empowerment.
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Work. Ha! Changes, changes, changes.If you have read my previous rants posts I've been talking about how much I kinda loathed the ongoing restructing of our office. These days I kind of just accepted them. I guess this is the part where I just have to man up and take it all in slowly. But guaranteed there will be instances where I would have to defend myself, not to resist change, but to defend whatever is right or practical.
As a small update with regards to work. I didn't get the spot I've been wishing to have. As for the part-time teaching gig, well, it's still a work in progess. I'm crossing my fingers here.
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Work 2. There's a certain sadness going on in the workplace lately... in a nostalgic sense at least. You see, my boss will be leaving in less than a month (he's been reassigned to a sister university in Davao), and he's been packing for the past few weeks. When I visited his office I saw that the shelves were already empty. The trophies, plaques, souvenirs, gifts, they're all gone now. The only stuff left in the office are his paperclips, ballpens, PC, and a few papers left for signing.
For the first time I've realized that this time it is my superior who will be leaving the office and not me. I remember the old days, when I would constantly submit my resignation paper to the HR. I was a chronic rolling stone back then, and I can't even remember how many jobs I had before I got this gig in the university. Five to six jobs in the span of two years? I can't even remember anymore.
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Work 3. I'm now officially the front dude.
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Anyway, thanks for reading. I'm now back to my regular blogging schedule.
I Wish I...
There's something about this song which makes me want to write poetry. Perhaps it's the melody, perhaps it's the tragic honesty expressed by the persona. I really don't know. All I can say is this: should you be real, I want to meet you someday.
I wish that I could photograph my moods/ Show them to you/ Just to prove/ Something
Anniversary of Sorts
It's funny how time flies so fast. I just realized a few hours ago that I had just celebrated my second year anniversary as an employee here in the university last week. I should've noticed it but I think I was just too busy to even realize that it's February already.
And it's even funnier that for the time being I was assigned to do some writeups of our retirees. I started interviewing them last month and so far all of them gave me a lot of inspiring anecdotes. Will I be able to stay here for five years at least? Perhaps. At twenty five it's already hard to find a new job, but then again I'm the type of person who doesn't want to get stuck in one spot for all eternity. I get restless most of the time.
writeups, writeups, writeups
Also, I haven't really thought about leaving my post as staff, but I was planning to extend my duties as a part time educator. The thing is, I'm still hesitant to even at least give a letter to the Department Chair about my interest in applying for the job. Being knowledgeable about the subject matter is one thing (I'm still the same dumbass you met back in college), but being responsible to the formation of students is another mindracking task.
Anyways, I've just observed that most yuppies these days have a hard time settling down. I guess it's pretty normal. With all the jobs offers and opportunities flying around one has a hard time controlling his or her attention span. Commitment is hard to come by these days.
more writeups
I would like to express my sincerest gratitude to my superiors and colleagues. Working for this university has been very challenging, but it's all worth it.
I hope.
Old 'Skine (Set 4)
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1. I don't think pencils really work on Moleskines. I'm not sure, I just use Mongol #3 for this page.
Emily Theater
Emily Theater re-opened for the nth time. Well, for an event at least.
I think the last movie that I saw from this cinema was Ringu (The Ring). I watched it with my father and I expected him to scream at the last part of the flick, but unfortunately I was the only one who freaked out even though it was already my second viewing (spoiler: Sadako came out of the television). I think father fell asleep. Meh.
When was it? Second year? Third year college? I can't remember anymore. But I think this cinema is really important to the lives of older Nagueños. When the internet was young and cable television was still non-existent there was the cinema. We all loved the place that's for sure.
I really miss Emily Theater. When I walked inside the place yesterday it felt nostalgic. I don't know, I can't really figure it out. You just have to be there to experience it.
By the way, just in case you're wondering what event this is, It's Pelikula at Kultura, a special conference/film screening organized by the Media Studies Department of AdNU. We watched Veronica Velasco's Last Supper No. 3 yesterday. Today (01 Feb) they'll be showing Alvin Yapan's Gayuma. Tomorrow (02 Feb) Happyland by Jim Libiran will be screened.
Click here for more information.
What is Frustration?
